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Question by : How to deal with 3 1/2 yr old who poops his pants at daycare?
I have a daycare and have 4 kids 2- 2 yr old’s a 8 month old and a 3 1/2 yr old
The 3 1/2 year old is the child that I have the concerns & frustrations about.
Potty training-
I have just started watching him and he goes potty on the toilet well but sometimes doesn’t want to because he will have to give up his toy. I do not want to let him take the toy or have me hold it because he has a major sharing problem. But the main problem is going poop on the toilet his parents say he does pretty well at home. But he has not once gone poop on the potty for me but 4 out of the 7 days I have had him he has pooped his pants he wont tell me he has to and if I take him to go he will pee and thats it then will go in the play room and poop his pants then say logan pooped his pants. It’s frustrating he wont help me take his shoes off pants or anything and just lays on the floor like a baby and puts his legs up. I ask him why he didnt tell me he had to go or why he didnt go when he was on toilet he says I dunno? I’m never rude or mean and I don’t yell at him but today was like the icing on the cake of cleaning poop out of his underwear and pants so I put the diaper his parents sent on him and told him that he gets to wear one tell he goes poop on the toilet then can wear big boy underwear for rest of the day. (so every day when he comes I’m gonna put a diaper on him and when he goes poop in toilet he can put big boy underwear on.) I just can’t leave kids for 15 mins to clean him and his underwear and pants.
Sending poopy pants home-
Do I continue to wash the poopy pants everyday or do I bag them and send them home? I don’t have a problem washing clothes if it’s a opps once a week or every other week but everyday or 75% of the time?
Eating-
His parents don’t make him eat breakfast and when we eat breakfast he doesn’t want any. But 30mins later will want food I make him wait for 45 min till snack time. Then at lunch wont eat what I make all he wants is mac n cheese. He does same thing for afternoon snack he wont eat all his lunch and wants snack 30 min later.
Sharing-
He flaunts toys in the kids face acts like he is playing with them and then when they wanna try the button and etc he jerks it away and says no and if a kid is headed for a toy he runs to get it first. And as I mentioned before he wants to take toys to bathroom or wont go cause he is afraid someone will get . He walks around and always tells kids no to everything.
MISC-
He seems slow. when you talk to him and tell him please don’t take the babies toy he says oooohhhhh ookay but continues to do it. Or if i’m making lunch he has to follow me and he gets in way so I ask him to watch me from the carpet he does the oohhhh okay thing and just stands there I will say it 3 more times he does same thing just stands there so then i show him and he still follows me back. Or if I ask him to keep toys in toy area he says ohhh okay then keeps walking away from toy area. He talks really slow and quiet and half the time I can’t understand him and he gets mad I ask him to show me he just stares at me. He asks me whats that about everything on tv kid shows mirror pictures toys shoes pillows and etc and I tell him you know what that is he says ya pillow but its a constant thing other kids cant watch movie cause he is in front of tv pointing whats that… Then he will ask can I play with that on a commercial what do you say to that?
I just wanna help him and try to make it less frustrating and time outs haven’t worked he kicks and screams and I’m 38weeks pregnant don’t have energy to pick him up and he weights to much.
my questions are:
1. Do I clean underwear and pants or send it home in bag?
2. The diapers size 6 don’t fit him well he wears 5t clothing how do I address the diapers and him pooping his pants a lot.
3. how do I take care of him not pooping on toilet what do I say to him at the time?
4. What if he doesn’t wanna eat what I make?
5. What can I do to help him share
6. How do I deal with him bossing kids around saying no and etc
7. If time out doesn’t work what else could I try
Best answer:
Answer by DAWK1723
HOLY COW LOL.
1. Send them home in a bag.
2. Ask the mom for pull-ups. Tell her the issues you’re having.
3. Continually take him to the toilet. If you’re training the other kids as well, take them each one by one to the toilet. Tell him that poop goes there and show him after someone has gone poop.
4. Then he will eat the next thing you make. DO NOT accomodate. Offer foods all the kids like. Offer fruit with the meals and something you know they all will eat. If he doesn’t eat something he obviously likes then let him get up and play AFTER the others are done.
5. Show him. This is how we share. Ask him nicely, please “—” share your toys. You play with this one for a while and she will play with this one. You can have it back when she’s done.
6. Tell him he’s not the boss. You are in charge and he will not treat the other kids badly. He will get a time out for talking ugly to the kids.
7. Keep trying with him. Use the techniques his parents use.
Potty training:
Be consistent and firm with him. Take him to the toilet every 30 minutes if you have to.
Sharing:
When he flaunts something take it from him and tell him why. Tell him that is a no-no and he will not tease the other kids.
Eating:
Stop making snacks and only feed him at meal time. He’s filling up on snacks and is avoiding meal time.
Misc:
Talk to his parents about your concerns. Tell them his behavior and suggest maybe he be tested? That’s a tough one.
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