» Most Popular Refusal To Potty Train -FAQ
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Question by Eraserhead: How can I overcome my 4 year old’s stubborn refusal to potty train?
My little guy knows how to use the potty. I’ve shown him, and he understands well. He is very intelligent, but also incredibly stubborn. When I tell him he needs to get out of pull-ups, he gives me this list of reasons why he can’t do it until ‘tomorrow’. I’ve tried offering him treats to go, and he literally looked at me and said “it’s not worth it.” I also really want a dog, but so does he, so I told him we would get one as soon as he gets trained. So now he’s brushing that off as well. We are at a stand off.
I can’t force the child to go, but i’ve had it with changing diapers. Plus, he needs to be ready for school next year, and i’m all panicked that he still won’t be trained.
Any ideas? Has anyone else had a boy who’s nearly 5 that’s not trained? I’m so afraid this will go on forever!
btw, I discussed this with a dr, he was the one who gave me the treats idea. Other than that he said just to wait until my son ‘comes around’. I’d rather not. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by jenn a
stop putting pull ups on him. he will get trained in a few days that way cause he wont like being wet. worked for my son at age 3.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
September 9th, 2010 at 6:26 am
get rid of the pull ups! those things just re inforce him to go potty in his pants. put underwear on him. it will be hard changing his clothes all the time but eventually he will not want to be wet an messed all the time.. It will work but it is tough.
September 9th, 2010 at 7:07 am
With my son, the easiest thing for me was to just do away with diapers and pull-ups and put himin underwear. It meant more laundry for me for a week or so, but he quickly got sick of having wet pants. He’s four now and has only had 2 daytime accidents since I got rid of the pull-ups and it’s been 10 months!
September 9th, 2010 at 7:47 am
Are you serious? all the children in my family gets trained at about 1-2 years of age. You need to enforce him using actions and use a little bit of tease, like girls will laugh at him at school, if he peed on his pants. At this point don’t bargain with him, use threats and actions
September 9th, 2010 at 8:31 am
I took my son to a store and let him pick out his favorite underware and he wears it alot of course we have to clean it but after we bought it he started to go the restroom because he didnt want to get his favorite underware dirty you know. but thats how it helped mine.
September 9th, 2010 at 9:23 am
Stop giving him a choice. Throw away all the pull ups and get underpants – lots of them. Take him with you and let him pick if you like, but if he won’t go, just get them yourself. Tell him it’s time, and this is not optional.
Betcha it only takes a few days for him to decide he doesn’t like walking around in wet or poopy clothes.
September 9th, 2010 at 9:33 am
We were in the same situation with preschool when my child was about to turn 3. One night we sat down (no mention of the potty) and came up with a list of places that we wanted to go and things we wanted to do. (park, zoo, amusement park, etc.) and explained to my son that we could go to each place, but only after he had proved that he was potty trained. We explained that “big boys” could only go if they wore underwear and used the potty.
Did it work at first? No…it didn’t. BUT we took one thing off our list which was the LEAST exciting (going to the duck pond….something we did on a regular basis anyway) and set a date to go. When he was still not using the potty, we had a family member come babysit him while we went. We made sure it was someone who was “in” on our plan and who wouldn’t try to make staying home a lot of fun.
When we returned, he was really mad. (He also cried when we left, but we knew that this was short-lived and was for the greater good.) We asked him which thing he wanted to do next….He chose, and we put it on a calendar so that he could see that it was one week away. He had ONE accident in that week. Each time he went to the potty, we made a big deal out of it and gave an immediate reward (no, you won’t have to do it forever!) just to keep the success coming. We made the trip to the zoo a really great one, and he has had only a couple of accidents since.
Of course, we had to keep up our end of the word and visit the other places as well….about one a week….. But that was a double reward for us!
DEFINITELY get rid of the Pull-Ups. Those things are worthless.